In this World
by TabbyGuin
Summary: Life is hard and cruel and no one knows that better than Bella Swan. Her life has been one tragedy after another. What happens when she is confronted by her past after finally moving on? Set 70 years after NM. (Eventually Jasper Bella, with eventual lemons)
1. prologue

**A/N I do not own Twilight. No copy right Infringement Intended**

**A/n2 I should be working on my Harry Potter fic but that chapter is proving to be a bit of a chore. It's not quite right yet. I decided to start this one as well because sometimes Plot Bunnies hit you and you've gotta roll with it. Enjoy.**

**Prologue**

And maybe a happy ending

doesn't include a guy,

maybe it's you,

on your own,

picking up the pieces and starting over,

freeing yourself up for something

better in the future.

Maybe the happy ending is

just moving on.

Leaving Forks was selfish. But Bella Swan couldn't be concerned about that. Forks had been home for almost a year, living with her father Charlie. Chief of Police to the townsfolk. She had put her self in exile for her mother's happiness after she remarried. She hadn't expected to fall in love...

Edward Cullen.

The name made Bella's chest fester in the place her heart used to be...

Edward was a vampire and he lived in town with his vampire family in secret. Carlisle the patriarch and doctor, Esme the loving mother and home maker, Emmett the huge goofball and big brother, Rosalie his high maintenance super gorgeous bitch, Jasper the newest member to the family who always stayed in the background... And Alice. The pixie who claimed to be her best friend.

The whole family save for Rosalie, welcomed me with open arms. Claimed me as part of their family, that I would eventually join them as Edward's mate. The one he had waited for for nearly 70 odd years.

I accepted them all. I even tried to be friendly with Rose. I loved them all in their own ways. But none, none, NONE more than Edward. I gave him all of me. I finally had a place I felt I belonged...

Then after a freak occurrence at a birthday party I hadn't wanted in the first place, I was left by everyone.

Edward was the only one who bothered to say goodbye, that the family had already left and no one would be coming back. That I was a distraction from the mundane existence in which they lived. That he was tired of pretending, that he had never wanted me.

2 minutes.

That was all it took to change my world. In 2 minutes I lost the love of my life and the family I hoped to one day be a part of.

It took me months to climb out of my depression and back into the light and that's only because I could hear _his_ voice. Being reckless and doing dangerous things brought Edward's voice out, really it was more or less my own subconscious but I craved his voice. I craved him in ANY way I could have him.

It was then I started to spend time with Jacob Black. A boy I'd known since early childhood. Charlie's best friends son. I recalled memories of them wistfully planning our wedding and hoping one day we would be family.

Jake was my sun.

With him I was filled with warmth, with hope.

Bit by tiny bit. My fractured heart began to heal. With Jake it was as easy as breathing. We laughed and we joked and he looked at me like I hung the moon.

I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to let go of Edward and I couldn't be what Jake needed. He promised to be there for me, to wait, to not leave me like _he_ did...

One night after a movie he made his intentions towards me clear. He was in love with me. He wanted me. While what little of my heart was repaired soared the rest of me was wary. Could I put that much time and effort in with someone else? Could I build myself up for that kind heartbreak?

I threw caution to the wind. I gave myself over to Jake and slowly but surely my heart mended. When Jacob transformed into a werewolf I had wondered what it was with me and all things supernatural. I was a magnet for danger but I accepted him, just as he had accepted me when I was broken. He loved me and I grew to love him..

It was several months into our relationship that I became pregnant...

The thing I had never, ever, considered for myself, motherhood. I grew to love the child growing inside of me. A great love I had never anticipated, it made me thank god for my parents and to understand the love they had for me. There is no love greater on earth than the love a mother has for her child. I knew then and there I would do anything for my child. I would be the parent I wished I had, had. I would kiss all the boo-boos, I would make creative meals to entice picky tummies. I would read stories and tuck him or her in at night with love...

Everything was perfect. I was going to marry Jacob and we were going to raise a family together... It was a dream come true for Charlie and Billy. Suddenly the plans they had jokingly made when we were kids came together. We would unite our families and both were so excited to be grandparents. Each vowing to out spoil the other.

I had big dreams. A small home on the reservation. Jacob working on car to support us. Maybe 2 or 3 dark haired children running through the yard. It was a wistful pleasant dream. Each month I grew bolder. I came back to myself. My love for my child and Jacob growing rapidly. My chest began to fill the emptiness with love.

The day of my baby shower everything changed.

I always knew it was a possibility, but Jacob always assured me there would never be anyone he loved more than me. Jessica Stanley and Angela Weber walked in arm in arm, each carrying a bag. I pulled Jacob over to meet my friends. He was cordial to Angela but when his eyes met Jessica's I saw something reflected in them. Deep down I knew what it was. For the sake of the party I chose to believe ignorance was bliss and chalk it up to my imagination...

The rest of the baby shower Jacob's eyes followed her. But still I didn't see what was happening. I opened presents and laughed and suddenly I couldn't find Jake. So I took off outside and what I found broke me. Jessica was in his arms and they were kissing in a way I had never been kissed. It was passionate and consuming and I fell to my knees. The baby inside me moved violently, and my hand tenderly rubbed where my baby was.

Maybe if I hadn't been pregnant. Maybe is Jessica wasn't looking so smug... Maybe I wouldn't have left.

"Bella." Jake had called to me, his tone laced with sadness and regret. "It's not my fault."

No, imprinting was a wolf thing.

Fleeing from my own baby shower I got in my truck and started away. What was I going to do? How could I raise a baby on my own? How could Jake possibly be involved? I couldn't bare the thought of him and Jessica together. It was Edward leaving all over again.

_You're a distraction._

_I don't want you._

_It's not my fault_

_Imprint._

I took a curve to sharply and another vehicle from the opposite direction hit my ancient truck and I crashed into a ravine.

Waking up in the hospital was a shock. I had been 8 months pregnant and huge. Instinctively my hands had gone to my stomach. It was no longer swollen.

Panicking I screamed.

Charlie rushed into the room his eyes were red from crying. He looked so forlorn and I couldn't understand I couldn't comprehend.

"She didn't make it..." he told me.

Who? Who hadn't made it? I didn't understand what he meant. Where was my baby? Where was she...

she.

She. Didn't. Make. it.

I let out a wail of anguish.

The doctor came into the room and he placed the cold, lifeless, small body into my arms.

She was BEAUTIFUL. Tanned skinned and raven haired and a heart shaped face. I looked into the face of my dead daughter and felt the world fall away.

Why?

What had I done to deserve this?

Had I been a serial killer in a past life?

Was I being punished?

"Miss Swan we had to preform emergency surgery to try and save the baby." The doctor was saying, "There was a complication, and I'm sorry but you won't be able to have any more children. We had to take it all."

My mind was numb.

First Edward.

Then Jacob.

Then my perfect angel 'Heaven Leigh' I'd named her.

Now I could never have any children.

Life was cruel.

The decision to leave Forks was selfish...

Bella Swan spent her savings traveling across the country. Slowly coming to grips with her losses. Starting over. Starting fresh. Trying her best not to dwell on what she had lost.

She had lost two loves.

Two families.

It was in Detroit when Victoria finally caught up with her. Always having been two steps behind.

She wanted vengeance for James' death.

"I've been watching you for almost two years." she had hissed, "Your death will bring me much joy."

"Kill me." Bella told her defiantly, "Do it and be done with it."

"I want you to suffer." Victoria had countered her flaming hair frizzed and eyes wild.

"Suffer?" Bella scoffed, "Edward left me. He didn't want me. I moved on and he didn't want me either. I lost my CHILD." she was screaming by the end.

The careful facade she had built around herself crumbled. Bella Swan collapsed at Victoria's feet. Tears streaming down her anguished face.

"I'm sorry about James. He should have killed me. It would have saved me. There was no reason for him to die. I wasn't worth it. I'm not worth it. I'm nothing. Please kill me and save me from the pain I feel everyday. The pain of being unloved. Unwanted. Fitting in no where. With no one. Kill me. Kill me." Bella begged.

For the first time in years Victoria felt something other than blood lust and anger. She almost felt pity for the pathetic creature at her feet. She grabbed the girl and took off at a run. All Bella could pray was that it was almost over.

They entered an abandoned building on the west side and Victoria sat her down. Pacing back and forth and murmuring to herself.

"I will not kill you." Victoria stated with measured control. "I will change you."

And for the next 70 years Bella Swan existed. She traveled the world. Not taking in any beauty or joy. She existed with her painful memories. Slowly everyone she ever knew began to die.

Renee.

Phil.

Charlie.

Jake...

Jake died an old man surrounded by his children and grand children. Happy.

While Bella existed in her own kind of hell...

She met others along the way.

Garrett.

Peter and his mate Charlotte.

She never gave her name. But took comfort in knowing she was not alone.

It was time for her to stop wallowing in self pity. For her to embrace her life.

So she moved back to where it all began and enrolled herself at Forks high school. She had to start somewhere. And being a senior she could finally finish high school where it all began. Where she would never be far from Heaven Leigh. She could have her daughter spirit watching over her.

It was only the beginning.

**A/N**

**This is probably the longest prologue I've ever written. But I needed to make it clear. Everything that Bella has been through. What causes her to be the way she is. Why she isn't the same. I hope you've enjoyed. :) Please R&amp;R I genuinely want to know what you think. Questions? Comments? Constructive Criticism?**

**Thanks! **

**Tabby**


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: I do not own Twilight, No Copy Right Infringement Intended.**

**Chapter 1**

_**Lies**_

_The worst thing about being lied to,_

_is knowing you weren't worth_

_the truth._

I stood in the large remodeled bedroom of my childhood home. Having bought it after Charlie, rest his soul, passed on. It had only taken a few months to completely modernize the home. It had excellent bones and being somewhere so familiar after so long on the road, was a small comfort.

Instead of keeping two bedrooms I had decided one large master suite with built in shelves for my books. A large closet for clothes and a bathroom to top all bathrooms. I spared no expense. Having lived the last 70 years as the undead it was easy to have as much money as I could ever want.

The year 2077 was much the same as it had been in 2007. Sure there were more books and humans had made small advances in technology, it wasn't anything earth shattering. There were no flying futuristic cars. The world hadn't been taken over by machines. The major stores still employed teenagers to run the registers...

I gazed critically at my reflection in the full length mirror on the back of my door. I stood in black flats that were comfortable but trendy. Dark wash skinny jeans that clung to my body and showed off the curve of my hips. I wore a Hay Day Red Plaid Button-Up top. Red, navy blue, and grey plaid decorated the woven ivory fabric. With a collared neckline and long button-cuffed sleeves with a mother of pearl placket and front patch pocket. I felt beautiful.

The ivory of the shirt was whiter than me and gave the illusion I had some kind of complexion. I had eaten the night before and my eyes were honey golden. The animal diet while not very tasty had kept me from becoming a monster. I had not killed a single human. Preserving human life was important to me for various reasons.

I grabbed my book bag and walked down the stairs into the now open floor plan first floor. It looked perfect for any human. A large sofa and TV, a small dining room and a kitchen to die for. Had I still been human I would relish in cooking in this gourmet kitchen.

I grabbed my keys from the small table and made my way out to my new Ford C-max. It was candy blue and had every upgrade imaginable. The leather seats were comfortable and the car was faster than it appeared without being ostentatious.

I followed the familiar road to the High School with a major sense of deja vu. Forks remained a small and quiet town. Though many places in the US had expanded to make room for the sheer amount of humans. Forks remained a constant.

I pulled into the parking lot, noting my car was one of the very few that were new. There were several used and abused looking vehicles, but you must expect that with high school students.

Now for my story.

I was an emancipated 18 year old girl wanting to start over in a small town. Looking to finish school and get into a good college program. Seemed appropriate. I am emancipated because of the death of my parents. I live of their life insurance policy. Hmm. Could use some tweaking but I doubted the humans would question me too much.

Though I was lost in my own thoughts I took in everything. The students gawking at my car which stood out with it's bright color. It was then I noticed something that made my dead heart ache. A shiny silver Volvo parked not far from me.

Could they have come back?

If they had I had nothing to say to them. Any of them. I pulled myself together in a nanosecond. I would be who I wanted. Not what they wanted. If in fact it was them.

I went to the office where Mrs. Gregory, a lovely middle aged woman handed me my schedule. She had short dark hair and wire rimmed glasses. Everything from her posture to her words were inviting. She wasn't scared of me.

"We hope you like it here Isabella." she smiled.

Using my real name was risky. Though Charlie was dead and gone he had been one of the best police chiefs. Though I suppose I could pretend to be a distant relative...

I looked at my schedule memorizing it.

1st Period AP English Language and Composition with Mrs. Popp

2nd period French 3 with Mr. Girard

3rd period Algebra 2 with Mr. Anderson

4th Period AP History Ms. Lang

Lunch

5th period Physics with Mrs. Meyer

6th period Psychology with Mrs. Furkas

7th period Computer Lit 2 with Mr Flutie

It was a fine schedule and I was sure there wasn't much they could teach me that I didn't already know, but it would be nice to graduate once...

I walked the familiar paths to the redone out buildings quickly finding my English class. I was quickly approached by a sandy haired boy with familiar crystal blue eyes.

"You're Isabella Swan?" he asked his eyes roaming over my figure.

I smiled in what I hoped was a friendly way, "That's me."

"I'm Kyle... Newton." he grinned.

I took in the boys appearance and he did in fact look a lot like Mike. He had the same eyes.

"Nice to meet you." I told him finding a seat in the back of the class.

Mrs. Popp was an older squat woman. She was plump with short white hair and kind gray eyes.

I felt my mind wander as she went right into where the class had left of. It was January. Not exactly starting on time but it was about the time I gave up on school. All I wanted was that little piece of paper showing I was a high school graduate.

Before I knew it class was over and Kyle made his way up to me. "So are you related to the Mason's?" he asked.

I paused and turned to him, "No, who are they?"

"Just a family that's lived here a few years." he waved it off, "You just look very similar."

I felt my insides clench and I nearly bolted for the door. But who were the Mason's? Had the Cullen's taken on a new surname? Who were they to chase me from home. If anyone was leaving it would be them.

It wasn't until history that I saw any of them. Jasper was unmistakable. He entered the room and sat down near the front. I was in the back and observed him. My emotions ranging from shock, awe, apprehension. I noticed he changed his posture and knew his eyes were traveling for the source of the sudden burst of emotions. I took a deep breath and reigned in my emotions and he relaxed.

I didn't hear a word of the lesson.

I was too busy taking in everything about Jasper. He seemed more relaxed around humans though he seemed sad for some reason...

After class I pulled out my mobile and dialed Peter and Char.

"Mystery!" Peter answered with a drawl, "How are you!?" Charlotte squeaked.

"I've been better." I told them honestly.

"I knew you were gonna be calling." Peter told me I could almost see his cocky grin through the phone, "We've picked up Garrett and we're headed to Forks."

"You know where I am?" I asked him quietly.

"Sure do. We'll see you tonight."

I was used to Peter just knowing things. It was part of what made him such a unique vampire. He and Char found me about 50 years ago and we had build a pretty solid friendship. As for Garrett, he was friendly but a flirt. I enjoyed his company a few times, when I was lonely. He was a fantastic and attentive lover. It would be interesting to see where things were going.

I gathered my things and though it would be nothing to lug it all to the cafeteria I stopped to deposit it all in my locker anyways. That is what a human would do. Then I made my way to lunch with Harmony and Melody Weber. They were identical twins, with raven hair and kind brown eyes. I wondered if they might be distantly related to Angela? They had such a calm and soothing demeanor I liked them instantly.

We each grabbed food though I just grabbed something to pretend with. An apple and a water. I could drink the water without any negative side effects. Water and alcohol.

I followed them to a table where ironically Kyle was sitting. I met Frank Crowley, Clarissa Cheney, Adam Mallory, and Nolan Ross.

I scanned the room and my eyes were drawn to the perfection that was the Cullen family. Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie and a boy I'd never seen before. He was average in height and was holding hands with Alice. I scanned the room more and was shocked to see Edward sitting at a table with a very pretty girl. The girl had brown hair and muddy brown eyes. She looked like she had won the lottery.

"Who are they?" I asked Melody nodding in the direction of the Cullen's.

"Oh those are the Mason's." She told me conspiratorially, "They were all adopted by Dr Mason and his wife. The two blondes are twins Jasper and Rosalie Hale. Alice is the little dark haired girl, she's holding on to Benjamin, they are a thing. The big burly guy there Emmett is with Rosalie and Anthony is sitting over there talking to Angelica Dwyer."

"Oh he kind of looks like someone I used to know a long time ago." I told her feeling malicious.

"Really you knew someone who looked like that?"

"Yes. His name was Edward Cullen."

I watched the back of the bronze haired boy stiffen. His entire back was rigid with tension.

"I'm not feeling so well Melody. I think I'm gonna head home early."

I dumped my uneaten lunch in the trash and bolted for the door. Dwyer? Could she be a distant relation to Phil? Did Renee have more children?

I got into my car and drove like a bat out of hell to my house.

I let out a roar of frustration. It would figure they would come back here. I hated them. HATED them.

I took a few deep breaths and took off running in the direction of the cemetery. I grabbed a handful of wild daisies and walked up the rows until I was kneeling in front of a small headstone.

_Here Lies_

_Heaven Leigh Black_

_born March 6th 2006 Died March 6th 2006_

_Eternally Loved_

I felt the dry sobs wrack my body. I would NOT. Be forced from my daughter. I had fought to hard and too long for the Cullen's to come back into my life and ruin everything I had worked so hard for. The pain was less. It was a dull festering throb.

"I had a feeling I'd find you here." Peter's voice carried from the gate of the grave yard.

I stood up and turned to the red eyed vampire. Without thinking I launched myself into his arms. If only I could cry!

"I think it's time you told us your whole story." he told me, not unkindly.

We made our way back to the house and I was pleased to see Char and especially Garrett. If anything could take my mind off of the Cullen's it was him.

And so I launched into my story from the beginning. Living in Forks. The Cullen's. James. The abandonment. Jacob. Heaven Leigh. Imprinting. Traveling. My plea for Victoria to end my suffering. The entire tale.

When I finished I felt mentally and physically exhausted, though I knew as a vampire I could be neither.

Peter and Charlotte exchanged glances with Garrett.

"We know the Cullen's." Garrett breathed silkily, "I've known Carlisle for years."

"We knew Jasper. Or well we knew him as the Major."

I'd heard hundreds of stories from Peter and Char and all of them involved 'The Major.' I couldn't comprehend that the Major and Jasper were the same person.

"Bella Swan." Peter tested smirking, "Shit I think I like mystery better."

I forced a laugh but inside I was numb.

"I won't let the Cullen's hurt you." Garrett told me seriously, "Pretty little thing like you was Gayward's loss and my gain." he winked.

If I could blush I would.

"Thank you Garrett." I laughed rolling my eyes. I turned to face Peter and Charlotte. "What should I do?"

"I think it'd be best if you confronted them. Told them parts of your story and get their story straight. It would be a shame to out them..."

"In other words it would be funnier than hell to out them, but in the process I'd be outing myself and I need to stay inconspicuous?"

"That about sums it up." he agreed.

He stood and pushed Garrett, "Lets go hunt, let the ladies catch up."

I sat on the couch and Charlotte climbed beside me.

"I'm sorry you went through all of that Bella. The Major spoke fondly of you..."

I scoffed and gave her my best you're so full of shit stare.

"Really Bella. He was guilt ridden for years. The family blamed him for losing control."

"Before he left I told Edward to tell him that it wasn't his fault."

"Well it wasn't relayed."

I looked at Char and how beautiful she was. She was the sister I had always wanted. With her long blonde hair and soft features she was bubbly and charismatic...

"So tell me Char," I chose my words carefully, "What happened?"

She studied me for a long time and decided instantly to divulge what she knew.

"Jasper called us not long after your party. He was beating himself up bad. Apparently he wasn't anticipating that you could get hurt and he was hit with everyone's thirst at once. He said it was overwhelming and he felt that Edward was a threat. But no one believed him that Edward was the one who really lost control. When he finally did go back Edward was telling everyone that you didn't want to see them anymore. That you were disgusted in the family and Jasper especially. How could you become part of the family if they kept putting your life in danger. Edward told everyone they needed to move on. That you didn't want to be spoken to. You just wanted them gone. He came to stay with us for a few years. Him and Alice split up. She couldn't stay with a man who made her lose her best friend. He didn't stay with us permanently. He thought he could win Alice back. See they aren't mates. Just companions, like you and Garrett." She paused to smirk at me before continuing, "Things were bad for a while. Still sometimes he calls because he can't take the negative emotions being thrown at him."

I was livid.

Edward was a lying sack of shit and his family was about to learn some awful truths. But I couldn't wear this.

"Help me get ready. I need to tell Jasper it wasn't his fault."

**A/N:**

**Ooooh! I couldn't have the confrontation happen too fast. And even though she meeting up with them in the next chapter and though she knows it isn't Jasper's fault she's not going to fall into his arms right away. So anyways I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! R&amp;R if you liked it! :D**

**Tabby**


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